Funny Coffee Themed Horoscopes | Our original coffee horoscopes for every sign of the zodiac – These are for coffee drinkers only! ~ coffee horoscopes, funny coffee words, funny horoscopes, coffee themed horoscopes, coffee and astrology, coffee and zodiac signs.
Expect a coffee suprise in your inbox today. You may receive several free coffee offers, all will be very tempting, but you must choose the one that could result in the most coffee. It is time to slow down on the free coffee this week.Just because it is free, doesn’t mean its good. A single Scorpio may come to your aid in your coffee decisions – the help will change your coffee life.
You’re in a latte mode today – mild calm and relaxed. Coffee friends will stay alert and back you in case of trouble. Let your day take a natural course – no need for the flavored coffee – go all natural! The more you try to enhance the situation, the more trouble you could cause. Don’t obsess about the calories in that Double Java Chunk Chip Cappuccino you had over the weekend. You deserved it.
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee – that’s what you’ll want this month, and you’re sure to get it, too. Singles will enjoy a work-related latte, while married Aries can expect EXTRA FOAM from their adoring mate. Home brewing will get your great happiness. Expect a gift from an old friend so hold off on getting that new espresso machine. You will receive great spiritual connectedness during the cappuccino you drink Thursday.
Make sure you finish each coffee you start today. You should not start a cup of coffee you can’t finish. Slow down and enjoy each cup. Cool it with the double espresso shots today – DON’T go total decaf either! Your will need to be alert for the surprise meeting with the boss – stay confident and it will go well. You will get an unexpected coffee recipe from an old friend – have a pen ready.
All of those coffee making skills you aquired over the years will come in handy when a desperate Libra comes to you in a coffee need. This will inspire you to break out the recipe books and learn a few more! Go Wild – Invent your own and give it a cool name. Be ready and available when you are invited to a party later in the week, most likely as a designated driver as everyone knows you always maintain a good 180mg of caffeine in your system. Don’t let …
The time is right to ask your boss for that double espresso. Good news in your second job hunt – expect to be working at Starbucks sometime this month!! A lost coffee will suddenly turn up, making you very happy. Sometime this month you’ll want to sit down and take a serious look at your obsession with those coffee cup protective sleeves. That late night run to Dunkin Donuts may bring you great pleasure (other than the coffee!) – Go for it! //
This may be the week you find out one of your friends has switched to decaf. This could be a traumatic week for you. Let your emotions go and swig back a double espresso and forget about them, they probably weren’t meant to be your friend. Use your own personal power and confidence to order a Starbucks drink with 12 words in the title.
We recommend the Double Hazel Nut latte, Half-Decaf with a Shot of Espresso (Colombian Roast) with Non-Fat Milk and Two Tablespoons of Foam, with Room for Cream.
You will receive a large number of invitations to meet at a Starbucks – some from people you don’t know well. We don’t recommend passing on these invitations. Think of the free coffee! You enjoy being around people drinking coffee, but today you might be better off hanging with the decaf crowd. Don’t wear white this week – you have a good chance of being in the vicinity of a coffee spill. Wednesday could be your lucky day, if you start it with a cappuccino and an espresso shot. Look …
You seem to have your head in the foam of a large cappuccino this week. Truth be told – you have better things on your mind than coffee. You may lose a few good coffee friends this week. Try not to worry about this – You need to resolve your issues with instant coffee at Starbucks. A good non-coffee coffee like a Strawberry and Banana Viviano at Starbucks may be the break you are looking for. Resume your regular coffee habit later in the week and be refreshed by the …
This is the week you have the urge to calculate how much you spend per week for coffee at Starbucks. This might cause a lot of worry. Try exploring other options like McCafe or Dunkin Donuts Coffee. As a last resort you can brew at home and bring it to Starbucks for the coffee shop experience. A raise at work will put an end to all your coffee worries. Celebrate with a Venti at Starbucks this Friday. Go for it!
A chance to visit a new coffee shop, with several close friends, will happen this week. This could bring a whole new meaning to a wet cappuccino. Your life will forever be altered, so bring a camera to document the event. A chance of a lifetime – stay positive and it will happen this week. Resist the half-decaf home brew on Tuesday. This is the week you light your coffee candle your Aunt Maggy got you – get some use out of it – its not just for decoration. You …
A rush of energy from the Monday morning espresso will have you quite productive at work. You will feel the urge to let a friend borrow a cup of coffee – your friendship will blossom. You will not be able to resist the urge to order the NEW Starbucks coffee, regardless of the price. It wont break the bank – so go for it!
Stay away from a LEO coffee drinker on Friday.